Why study music?

“Music is the shorthand of emotion.”

– Tolstoy

I started working out of my home office two years ago, The greatest benefit that I have received from this change is that I am now able to play my piano for 45 minutes each day that I am in town. I’ve played the piano more often in these last two years than at any time since I gave up my professional career thirty-one years ago.

Certainly, playing the piano each day helps to reduce my stress level. But there are numerous other benefits:

  • My listening skills improve
  • My speaking skills improve
  • My reading skills improve
  • My story-telling skills improve

Daniel Pink has an interesting post on his blog – “A whole new reason to hit the keyboard.”  Here’s a snippet from his very short article:

“I may be the least musical person you’ve ever encountered.  And that’s something I’ve long regretted.  Now comes evidence deepening that regret, but offering a way for my kids to become more whole-minded than their dad.”

He refers to a new study – “Music Builds Bridges in the Brain” – that proves that children who take music lessons – and practice diligently – show dramatic improvement in the connection between the two hemispheres of the brain.

There are two points that I would like to make:

  1. Notice Mr. Pink’s regret that he did not take/continue his music lessons. However, he now realizes how much his children will benefit from the study of music – and diligent practice. And he wants this for his children. Wouldn’t you? Don’t you yearn for a society populated with more whole-minded citizens?
  2. What steps will Mr. Pink – and you, too – take to help make it possible for your / our children to have the opportunity to take music lessons? To become more “whole-minded?” How can we encourage them to want to practice?

The first step that you can take is to gather information. Start here – Click this “Link” to go to the Support Music website. This is a “grass roots” website. It is designed to enable each member of your community to access the pertinent information, tips, talking points and scientific data to make the case for music education in your community. You can make a difference. We can help to shape a society that has more “whole-minded” citizens. Take the first step today. Go to www.supportmusic.com!

Mr. Pink – thank you for writing about this scientific study. You have a very prominent public personna. Your articles reach many people. Thank you for sharing your desire to see that your children “become more whole-minded than their dad.” Thank you for sharing your regret that you are not currently making music.

Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. According to recent public opinion polls, 82% of the people who do not currently play an instrument wish that they did.

Why not start now? What is holding you back? I am addressing anyone who wishes that they and their children were actively making music. “Wanna Play?”

Now, I am going to go play my piano. Now, I am going to have some fun!

 

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Face Your Fears

I’m back posting after a few days hiatus. As I wrote in my last post, I was asked to substitue for the keynote speaker at a conference last week. Unfortunately, the scheduled speaker’s father passed away the day before the conference opened.

The audience was pleased with my talk. The board of directors of the conference was relieved – and pleased- that I was able to come through for them. I, too, was pleased with my talk.

Even though I did not have much time to prepare for this talk, I had plenty of material pre-planned for several talks. I have been an emergency substitue speaker before so I always have a few talks ready to go. So, it was simply a question of selecting the appropriate material, asking enough questions about the audience, and putting it all together. And then I could concentrate on delivering the keynote address.

Sounds easy? It is – for me. For most people – no, they would run away – as far and as fast as they could.

So many people live in fear of speaking in public. They are paralyzed by this fear. They do not realize how this fear is holding them back – from advancing in their careers and from developing relationships.

You can learn to face your fears. You can make a decision. You can decide to remain a prisoner of your fears. Or you can decide to face your fears head-on and take the first step towards conquering your fears.

Last night, at the closing banquet, a good friend and colleague of mine was honored for his years of service to our association and our industry. Great choice! Well deserved. And, a great model for the message of this post.

Early in his career, Kevin was paralyzed with fear of speaking in public. I vividly recall meeting Kevin more than thirty years ago, when he could barely say “Hello” to someone he was meeting for the first time. Some of my colleagues muttered, “He won’t last. He doesn’t have what it takes. He’s too shy”

Kevin must have heard those comments. He realized that he had to face his fear of speaking in public if he was “going to last.” He knew the steps that he needed to take in order to prove that he had what it takes to be successful in his business – and in our industry.

His first step was to enroll in a Dale Carnegie Training class. He enjoyed the experience so much that he now is a Dale Carnegie certified trainer. His is a story of success. And he is a real role model for anyone who wants to learn how to overcome their fear of speaking in public.

Thank you Kevin! Thank you for showing us that it is indeed possible to  face your fears – and conquer them.

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Always be prepared!

You never know when to expect the unexpected. But you should be prepared. It is not a question of “if.” It is a question of “when.” When will the unexpected happen? When will I be called on to respond to something unexpected.

I got that call yesterday. Actually, I got 5 or 6 frantic calls yesterday. As soon as my plane landed in Boston, my cell phone rang and rang. The unexpected had happened. They wanted to know if I could respond?

“Yes,” I said, “I will. I am prepared.”

Unfortunately, the keynote speaker for this conference had a sudden death in the family. Of course he left town immediately. Wouldn’t you? I would have.

So… I will deliver the keynote today. I am confident that it will be successful. I am always prepared. I am always ready.

I’ll let you know more tomorrow….

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Body Language 101

clinton-obama-body-language.jpg

I did not watch the debate last night. And, based upon the news reports I read this morning, I will not search for a replay. Perhaps I should. If only to observe Sen. Clinton’s and Sen. Obama’s body language.

This photo caught my eye. And it is not a pretty picture! Notice their hands. This position is called the “Fig Leaf.” Remember the biblical story of Adam and Eve? How they used a fig leaf to cover their “private parts” after they took a bite of the forbidden apple? They look weak, defensive and vulnerable.

So do Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama in this picture. They look weak, defensive and vulnerable. They do not look “Presidential.” They do not project power, confidence or authority. They appear timid.

“Listen with your eyes!” Body language is quite telling. What message do you receive from this photograph? What message do you project with your body language? What will your audience believe – your words? Or your body language?

If you want to learn more about the importance of body language, I recommend “The Exceptional Presenter,” by Timothy J. Koegel. I particularly like his illustrations of proper and inappropriate hand positions and gestures.

So, what is the proper position for your hands when you are speaking? What change should Sens. Clinton and Obama have made before this photograph was taken?

Use the basic”hands at your side” position. It will relax you because it takes no energy to stand with your hands at your side. Practice this yourself. How does this make you feel? How does your audience react when you stand to speak with your “hands at your side?”

They feel comfortable listening to you. They “listen with their eyes.”

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What is your speaking rate?

No, this article is not a discussion about how much you should charge to deliver a speech. Charge as much as you dare – or at least what the market will bear. But first make sure that your content and delivery are top-notch.

Speaking of delivery. How fast or slow do you speak? Do you speak too fast for your audience to understand you? Or so slow that your audience falls asleep or tunes you out?

Walter Cronkite remains one of the most respected communicators in broadcast history. He paid close attention to his delivery:

“Cronkite trained himself to speak at a rate of 124 words per minute in his newscasts, so that viewers could clearly understand him. In contrast, Americans average about 165 words per minute, and fast, difficult to understand talkers speak close to 200 words per minute.

How do you rate? The correct answer is that you should match your number of words per minute (WPM) to fit your audience and the setting for your speech. The larger the room and the larger your audience, the slower you should speak. In a more intimate setting (one-on-one or small group around a table) you can speak faster but be sure to watch your audience’s body language. Watch for clues that you need to either speed up or slow down. We listen with our eyes!

Here are four tips to use as you prepare your next speech or presentation:

  1. When you are rehearsing, be sure to time yourself. Record your time. And record your rehearsals (audio /video)
  2. If you are using PowerPoint, take advantage of the Rehearse Timings feature. (Menu – Slide Show – Rehearse Timings) This will record the amount of time you spend on each slide (or each bullet point) as well as the overall length of your presentation. As a bonus, you can incorporate these timings to allow the slides to advance automatically when you do your presentation.
  3. Prepare a shorter version of your speech. Quite often, you will be asked to “speed it up” because the program is running behind schedule. DON’T! Don’t speed up your delivery – a recipe for disaster. Rather, deliver your streamlined-version. Quite often, this will be the more effective speech – you benefit from brevity!
  4. Always memorize – two parts of your speech: Your first two minutes. Your closing minute.

Pay attention as others speak. How do you react as an audience? As a listener? Does the speaker engage you? Do you follow them? Do you understand them? What is their speaking rate?

Of course, variety is the spice of life. You need to vary your rate of speaking to reflect the tone of your content. Speed up when you are excited; slow down when you are making an important point. And always remember “the power of the pause.”

Learn to master your speaking rate and you will achieve your goal – your message will be heard and understood.

Learn to master your speaking rate and you will be asked back to speak again. Your reputation will grow and more audiences will want to listen to what you have to say. And… the rate that you can charge to speak will also improve. You will be worth it. You will have earned it.

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The Benefits of Brevity

“I didn’t have time to write you a short letter, so I wrote you a long one.”

– Mark Twain

Actually, this is going to be a short post. I am going to share six of my favorite quotations on the topic of “brevity” with you. I will make the briefest of comments after each.

Tell me what you think – in a few words, please!

1) The opening quote by Mark Twain.

  • When writing an article or a speech, spend more time deciding what to take out than what to put in.
  • Edit – mercilessly!
  • Make you point, stick to it, support it and drive it home to your audience.
  • Easier said than done!

2) “The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” – Thomas Jefferson

  • Edit – mercilessly!
  • Use a two syllable word rather than one with three.
  • History’s most memorable speeches use very few words:

3) “A speech should be as long as a piece of string – long enough to wrap up the package.” – Anonymous

  • Enough said!

4) “Anybody can have ideas – the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph.” – Mark Twain

  • That is why I love and collect quotations.
  • Edit – mercilessly!

5) “If you can’t state your position in eight words or less, you don’t have a position.”– Seth Godin

  • And your audience won’t remember what you said.
  • And your audience won’t know what to do as a result.

6) “Be sincere. Be brief. Be seated.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

  • re: “Be seated.” Don’t talk yourself out of the sale!

OK – some tasty morsels to chew on.

Please share your favorite quotations with our readers. Just keep it short and to the point!

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Vocal Graffiti – You Know

Speaking in public is a challenge. Most people fear it. Speaking in public, with cameras recording what you say and how you say it, is even more challenging. When your audience watches the video – days, weeks or even years later – it no longer appears to be a “live event.” The “live” audience that applauds your spontaneity, given the heat of the moment, is a different audience from the one that views the video through a different filter. The filter of time. The filter of history. The filter of “gotcha!”

This is the audience who will point to your grammatical lapses as proof that you are not as educated as you claim. This is the audience who can now “prove” that you lack the experience that you claimed to have. This is an audience that most speakers completely disregard – at their peril!

This is the age of YouTube. This is the dilemma that Sen. Hillary Clinton finds herself in. YouTube sleuths and the Mainstream Media are falling all over themselves to show how Sen. Clinton’s recollection of her “dangerous” arrival in Bosnia is dramatically different from her actual arrival as documented by news reports on the scene those many years ago.

It is not just the case that the “video never lies.” The “video never dies!”

The video is always there, lurking in the archives, ready to bite us wherever and whenever. And video is now viral – its reach is global and instantaneous.

So… if you are already fearful of speaking in public, you have a few more things to learn: Continue reading “Vocal Graffiti – You Know” »

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Don’t Point Your Finger!

hillary-points-finger.jpgYour mother told you! “It’s not polite to point your finger at someone.” And she was correct on this point. I do not like to have someone point their finger at me – literally or figuratively.

Senator Hillary Clinton – It is time that you started to listen to your mother! Remember what she told you: “It’s not polite to point your finger at someone. It will not earn you any points (votes) and people do not appreciate it.”

obama-1.jpg

Senator Barack Obama also points his finger. What politician does not? But this post – and my blog – is not about “political finger pointing.” I am not writing about shifting the blame. I am posting and blogging about effective communications.

 

I have been watching the videos and analyzing the body language of each candidate vying for their party’s presidential nomination. In reviewing the video of the recent CNN debate between Senator Clinton and Obama I noticed a distinct difference in how each candidate uses the fingers to make a point:

 

  • Sen. Clinton consistently pointed her finger directly at her audience.
  • Sen. Obama usually pointed his finger upwards or to the side.

This may seem subtle to some. And it may prove significant to others. And it may play a role in the outcome of the voting. We will see. We listen to what we see!

 

However, professional speech coaches agree that you should avoid literally pointing or poking your finger at someone. Here is a quote form Joan Detz, the author of “It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It.”

 

“Don’t point at the audience. The simple truth is, no one likes to be pointed at.”

 

At this late date in a heated primary election campaign, Hillary Clinton is probably not listening to outside experts on body language and effective communication styles. She is relying on instinct and (unconsciously) responding in the heat of the moment. In my opinion, she does not respond effectively – especially with ter body language – when feels that she is being attacked or is having her proposals rejected. Who does? I don’t. Do you? Of course not. But we must be aware of how we physically react when we are attacked:

 

We listen with our eyes.

 

No matter what we say, people will remember what they see. We remember more of what we see than what we hear.

 

This is the image that plays back in my head when I see someone pointing their finger at the audience.

bill-clinton-points-finger-2.jpg

 

It is not a pretty picture. It will not win votes. It is not polite. Just ask your mother. She will tell you – and she will not point her finger at you!

When you give a speech or make a presentation you must present your point of view – that’s why you were invited to speak. To be effective you must state your point, present you case and back up your points and finally give your audience a call to action. Make you point. Point out how you differ from your opponent. Just remember not to point you finger at you audience!

They will get the point.

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Take Note!

obama-takes-notes-at-debate.jpg As I watched the televised debate between Senators Clinton and Obama, I was struck by one particular piece of “stage craft.” I found it to be annoying. It distracted my attention from what was actually being said. What was it?

Senator Obama was diligently writing notes every time that Senator Clinton spoke – at least during the first 45 minute segment. Why was he doing this?  Surely he had prepared his remarks and rebuttals ahead of time. At this point in the campaign, he had to have heard Senator Clinton’s arguments, stump speeches and 9-point plans ad nauseum. Very little new ground was being broken during the debate. So why was he so preoccupied with his note taking?

It’s simple really! The answer is, it was “staged!” Barack Obama wanted to avoid two things:

  1. Looking directly at Hillary Clinton as she spoke – I felt that his note-taking distracted my attention from her words.
  2. Reacting physically to her comments – he did not wish to convey his agreement with, surprise at or anger about any of her comments. His body language probably would have conveyed defensiveness and weakness had he not kept himself busy scribbling his notes as his opponent spoke.

Was this effective? Perhaps. Several professional observers have commented on Obama’s unconscious physical reactions when he is criticized. He winces noticeably. He tends to withdraw. He looks pained. He looks less than confident.

But the good news is… at least he stopped “raising his hand” asking permission from the moderator to speak! For that reason alone, the diligent note taking was an improvement.

Why does body language matter? Here’s why: Continue reading “Take Note!” »

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Defining Moments

“The Chinese symbol for adversity contains a symbol for opportunity. Therefore, adversity brings opportunity.”

– Anonymous

How do you rebound after 10 straight losses? Is it possible? Theoretically, yes.  Is it easy? Of course not. How do you do it? Stay in the game long enough to find your opportunity – and then seize the moment!

No doubt about it – Sen. Hillary Clinton’s campaign is on a losing streak. You can not “spin away” 10 consecutive losses. You can not discount the outcome of some state elections  as “not that important.” A caucus or a primary? It doesn’t matter. A loss is still a loss.

But there is always tomorrow. Another opportunity. A chance to gain a foot-hold. A chance to debate. A chance to turn her ship around. A chance to turn adversity into opportunity.

All eyes will be on Austin, TX – the scene of the next Democratic Party Debate.

More precisely, the eyes of the camera will be focused on the eyes, the hands, the posture of the candidates. It is my opinion that the outcome of tomorrow’s debate will be determined more by style than substance. And specifically, I predict that the outcome will be determined by how Senators Clinton and Obama master their body language during the debate.

The audience will be “listening with their eyes.”

We will not require a political analyst to tell us who won the debate. We can throw away the scorecard that tallies points scored on policy matters. The only points that matter will be how the candidates react to each other. Non-verbal reactions to each other.

We will “listen with our eyes.” We will determine the winner based upon what we “hear with our eyes.”

My advice to Senators Clinton and Obama: Spend more time preparing your non-verbal communications than in polishing your 9-point policy positions. The outcome of this debate will be determined by what the audience sees!

This has been the case – at least since the first televised Presidential Debate in 1960 between Kennedy and Nixon. The outcome was determined by a “close shave.”Future President Kennedy came across as a tanned, vigorous, confident leader. Then Vice President Nixon appeared to be hiding behind his “5 o’clock Shadow.”

Who can forget these images? Moments when non-verbal communication decided the outcome of the debate: Continue reading “Defining Moments” »

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