Communications | The Company Rocks

Danny May 16, 2008 Leave a Comment

The Right Words at the Right Time

“The wrong words said at the wrong time discourage me.
The wrong words said at the right time frustrate me.
The right words said at the wrong time confuse me.
The right words said at the right time encourage me.”

– John C. Maxwell

Think about these words for a few minutes. Think about the times when a few well chosen words, spoken at just the right moment, helped you to …

gain the strength and confidence you needed to accomplish more than you thought possible.
take comfort in the love and care of your friends and family to help you recover from a setback or loss.
gather the courage to make a major change in your career.

Yes, words have incredible power. And they gain even more power when the right words are said at the right time. And to the right person.

But the wrong words, said at the wrong time… they can be devastating. They can …

damage your self-confidence.
dampen your enthusiasm.
deter you from moving forward in your job or your career … or your life.

The wrong words, said at the wrong time … Why would anyone choose to utter the wrong words – regardless of the time?

You wouldn’t choose to … unless you were malicious, vindictive or intent on inflicting pain. The operative word is choose.

It is your choice. Do you want to lift people up or put them down? Do you want to prepare your word choices – in advance? Or are you content to just say something – and hope for the best?

Think about what you are going to say – long before you ever have the opportunity to say it. Choose your words carefully. Practice saying them – aloud. Practice saying them over and over again – until you have internalized them. So that your words are sincere. So that the words are yours. So that how you speak the right words at the right time makes an impact – on the right person.

Not sure about which words are the right words? Just think about the words that people say to you. How do they make you feel? Be honest with yourself. Which words and phrases lift you up? And why do they do that?

Now, think about those words and phrases that deflate you. Why did they do that? How did they make you feel? What word choices could have been substituted? How would those word choices have made you feel better? Why?

Are you are taking the time to choose your words carefully? If not, why not? Think about the difference a word can make the next time that you deliver a employee performance evaluation. Better still, reflect upon the words your boss used when he or she last reviewed your performance. How did you react? Why? What would you have preferred them to say?

Choice words. Choose yours correctly. You always have a choice. Words do make a difference – over time!

Please take a few minutes to share your experiences with words and phrases. Which words motivated you? Tell us about those words said at the right time. Enter your comments in the space below. Thank you!

Click here to view or download this article as a Text Document – Published on www.ezinearticles.com

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Communications, Managing, Mentors, Motivation Tagged: Motivation, Word choices

Danny May 14, 2008 Leave a Comment

Learn to speak with your handshake

What does your handshake say about you? How do your clients and colleagues react to your handshake? Do you give your colleague the same handshake that you extend to a new client? If not, why not? How do you react when someone gives you a “dead fish” handshake? Cold and clammy, I’ll bet!

Want to know more about the “dos and don’ts” of handshaking? Click here to view a slide show of handshaking examples – good and bad – on the Business Week Magazine website.

How many times a day do you shake a person’s hand? So many times that you probably don’t even think about it.

But you should think about it. Not about the number. You need to examine how your personal handshaking style. You need to be sure that you convey a positive message when you “speak” with your handshake.

Here is why:

“New research by University of Iowa business professor Greg Stewart confirms that a firm, solid handshake is an important part of a successful job interview, while a dead fish can end the interview before it even begins.

More important, in fact, than dress or physical appearance, the handshake seems to be a trigger that sets off an interviewer’s overall impression of a person.”

I encourage you to look at the handshaking examples in the Business Week slide show. Here are a few tips:

Both men and women should be proactive – don’t wait for someone to shake your hand. Extend your hand first.
Ensure that your handshake is firm – not strong – and that you make full-palm contact. The web of your hand touches the web of the other person’s hand.
Always make eye contact with the other person when you are shaking hands. This means that you must stand up to greet the other person when you shake hands.
Smile when you shake hands.
Always keep your right hand available to shake hands.
Be aware of “personal space” when you shake hands. In normal situations people will stand about two feet apart. As your relationship develops this distance will narrow.
Regardless of your gender, make sure that your handshake is firm. This conveys the message that you are confident and that you are assertive.
Start talking – say your name, for example – before you end your handshake.

Your handshake is your calling card. It reflects your personality. It is difficult to “fake.” It leaves a lasting impression of you.

What impression do you want to make? Learn to “speak” with your handshake.

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Business Practices, Career, Communications, Non-Verbal Communications Tagged: Body Language, First Impressions

Danny May 12, 2008 1 Comment

Practice your responses

“Practice doesn’t make perfect, nor is it supposed to. Practice is about increasing your repertoire of ways to recover from your mistakes.”

– Joan Gutin

Mistakes happen. And… they will continue to happen in the future. But… it is a huge mistake if you fail to learn from your mistakes. Especially in the way that you respond to your mistakes.

What can you anticipate? What is likely to occur? How will you respond when it does occur?

Have you thought about your response? Have you practiced your response? If not, why not?

Originally, I planned this post as a follow-up to my previous one – “Why do politicians fumble Q & A sessions? But then, I thought about this in a broader sense. I am constantly amazed to observe the number of people who:

Fail to anticipate sales objections – and to prepare their response.
Fail to address risk factors for their projects – and lack a Plan “B” to go forward when they do occur.
Fail to offer coaching and feedback to their staff – and wonder why they don’t achieve better results.

It is one thing to anticipate events and to prepare a plan to address to address them. It is quite another to actually practice the words that you will say during your response. To articulate them. To speak them aloud – and with confidence and conviction!

Words alone are insufficient in getting your message across. How you speak the words – your tone of voice – is the key to how your words are received and acted upon.

When I hear a politician – or any speaker – stumble over their words during a Q& A Session, I question their sincerity. I question their truthfullness. I question them.

Why? Because I get the feeling that they are “making it up as they go along.” That their response will be different the next time that they are asked this same question.

It is not what you say but, rather, how you say it that counts.

Let me give you an example. I am a musician. I can play a piece of music on the piano – hitting all of the correct notes. But, my performance will be flat and uninspired if I have not practiced – and internalized – my interpretaion of those notes. I need to practice not just hitting the correct notes, but also striking the right tone – for that piece and for my audience.

Speaking is no different. Sales is no different. Asking your staff to change is no different.

Learn how you can be different. Practice your responses!

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Communications, Leadership, Managing, Public Speaking Tagged: preparation, speak with conviction

Danny May 9, 2008 2 Comments

Why do politicians fumble Q & A sessions?

Senator Hillary Clinton does it. Senator Barack Obama does it. Many people – not just politicians – do it.

What do they do? They stumble and fumble their answers during debates and Question & Answer (Q & A) sessions.

Why? Well, one easy answer is that they fail to make time to:

Anticipate the questions that they will be asked.
Formulate their answers to these questions – especially the “sticky” ones – the ones that will be repeatedly played on the 24-hour cable news stations and on the Social Media internet channels.
Practice their answers – articulate them – speak them – master them – comunicate them.

As I write this, I have been packing my suitcase and listening to MSNBC repeatedly replaying Sen. Clinton’s crude, clumsy, possibly inflammatory response, ina USA Today interview, as to why she appeals to a broad-based coalition of voters. I lost count of the number of “Ahs,” “Ers,” and “Uhs” in her response. (Click here to read the interview and also access the audio portion.) Why? Is this the image she really wants to project?

And, Sen. Obama also deserves criticism – why doesn’t he put more time into preparing for his debate performance? Why does he come across as “defensive” or “offended” when he is questioned about his core beliefs? Why does he find it so difficult to articulate his response to difficult questions? (Click here for a linkto an excellent video analysis of Sen. Obama’s weak spots during questioning.)

Surely, Sen. Obama knows that these questions are coming. Why doesn’t he put more time into preparing for them?

Surely, Sen. Clinton must know that her answers will be replayed constantly on TV, on YouTube, on the radio. Why doesn’t she put more time into crafting her response?

Why do they continue to fumble and stumble with their answers during Q & A?

It makes me uncomfortable when I listen to their answers. I have to turn away from the “train-wreck” that is about to occur during the debates – I see their blank stares forming, I feel their cold sweat soaking their shirts and blouses… Why? Why? Why?

Why do they make me feel so uncomfortable during their Q & A sessions? Why do I doubt what they say? Why do I question their core beliefs?

Which candidate am I to believe? The candidate who masterfully delivers their stump speech? Or the candidate who appears completely lost and confused when answering a direct question?

It’s the stumbling and fumbling that they go through trying to get the words out that causes me to feel so uncomfortable. And… I do not think that I am the only one who feels this way. How do you react?

Why don’t their trusted advisors take them aside and say, “Senator, it is time to prepare your responses. It’s time to rehearse. It’s time to practice voicing your answers- forming the words and speaking them out loud.”

Don’t fall into this trap!

Anticipate the questions that you expect to be asked; especially the difficult ones!
Gather your thoughts and formulate your response. Put it in writing first if necessary.
Practice articulating your response. Say the words – speak them aloud. Record your response if at all possible.
Ensure that you have reserved enough time for these practice sessions.
Work with a speech coach or a trusted advisor.

Q & A usually comes at the end of a presentation. Make your last impression a favorable one. You never get a second chance to re-do your LAST impression. Make your LAST impression a positive, LASTING impression!

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Communications, Public Speaking Tagged: Barack Obama, Debates, Hillary Clinton, vocal hesitation

Danny May 5, 2008 Leave a Comment

Respect is the best incentive

“The key to success is to get out into the store and listen to what the associates have to say. It’s terribly important for everyone to get involved. Our best ideas come from clerks and stock boys.”

– Sam Walton

Carmine Gallo wrote an article for Business Week Magazine last month that is required reading for any manager:

“A Simple Employee Incentive”: Taking the time to give people your undivided attention can do more for retention and engagement than gift cards and other goodies.

I frequently hear business leaders say, “We listen to our customers. That is the key to our success.”

I rarely hear business leaders say, “We listen to our employees. We actively seek out and listen to their opinions.”

As a manager, do you maintain an “open door policy?” Most managers do. But what do you do when your staff pass through your open door?

Do you look up briefly, ask them what is on their mind and then … continue to read your e-mail?
Do you act annoyed that they just “dropped by” to talk?
Do you really care about what they have to say? If you don’t then why say, “My door is always open.”?

Here is a brief excerpt from Carmine Gallo’s article:

“When you’re face to face with a colleague, employee, or customer, and you check text messages or Blackberry e-mail, you’re communicating something—you are telling that person that whoever is on the other end of the message is the most important person in that conversation.

In your next conversation with one of your employees, try speaking as if he or she is the most important person in the room at the moment. Look him in the eye, avoid interruptions, ignore gadgets, and ask questions about his interests. It’s the simplest, least expensive, and most effective incentive available.”

Take Carmine’s advice to heart. Better yet… put it into practice today! Don’t tell people that you care… show them that you care about them. Give them your full, undivided attention. Respect is the best incentive.

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Communications, Managing Tagged: active listening, An engaged workforce, listen to your staff

Danny May 5, 2008 Leave a Comment

Simple, strategic questions

“Judge others by their questions rather than by their answers.”

– Voltaire

I found the perfect sequel to my previous post (“The difference between what and how”) I found it on Chris Garrett’s blog. His article is titled, “Who, What and So What?” Read it – you will be glad that you did so.

Here is a short excerpt from Chris’ article:

“When you are writing, what is your first thought?

If it is what you are going to write, I expect that would put you in with the majority.

“Who for” is perhaps a more important part of the equation. Connecting to your audience, bringing them something value, means addressing who they are.

A much overlooked aspect though is “So What?”. What should the reader take away? Where is the benefit? Why should we listen to you?”

Great advice! And not just for bloggers. Why?

Do you sell a product or service? Does your prospective client clearly see the “So what’s in it for me?”
Are you a manager? Do you delegate tasks? Does your staff clearly see the “So what’s in it for me?”
Do you send out e-mail messages? Does your audience clearly see the “So what’s in it for me?”

If you are not getting the results that you hoped for, go back and review your message. Re-read it from your audience’s perspective. Do you make it easy for them to see the “So what’s in it for me?”

If your answer is “No,” then it is time for you to revisit what you write and how you phrase it or say it.

Peter Drucker reminds us that:

“It is the recipient who communicates… Unless there is someone who hears, there is no communication. There is only noise.”

People see, hear and act through the filter of “What’s in it for me.”

It does not matter what you want or what you write or what you say. That is not enough to get your audience to see, hear or act on your suggestions.

It does not matter who you are. Do you connect with your audience? Do they see themselves in the picture that you are painting with the words that you write; the words that you speak?

Give your audience the answer to the question, “So what?” Why? Because it does matter – to them!

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Communications, Sales Tagged: Communication, Features vs. Benefits, What's in it for me?

Danny April 30, 2008 Leave a Comment

Why do busy people get more work done?

“Everyone who’s ever taken a shower has had an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference.”

– Nolan Bushnell

I attended a conference last week and a number of people asked me the same question, “How do you find the time to post a new article on your blog each day?” Even some members of the trade press asked me this question.

The simple answer is, I schedule the time to write the articles. You can never “find the time” to do something. If you really want to get it done you must schedule it.

For example, If you say, “Let’s get together soon,” you will never get together except by accident. You will not “find the time” to do so. You must say, “I would like to have lunch with you next week. Do you prefer Tuesday or Thursday?”

There is an old saying:

“If you need to get a job completed, give it to the busiest person that you know.”

There is also a corollary saying: ”

Your most productive day at work is the day prior to your vacation. You make more decisions. You delegate more tasks. You leave your office with a clean desktop.”

Patsi Krakoff of “The Blog Squad” has a terrific article on this topic – “Blog Writing: How to find the time…”I recommend that you read it, even if you do not write a blog. Patsi explains why we are attracted to activities that give us an immediate response. And why we delay activities, such as writing a blog, that do not offer the same immediate gratification. Here is a short excerpt:

“I don’t think time is really the issue. It’s seeing results. You don’t have to “find the time” for something that’s important for business. You certainly find time to deposit checks into your bank account, so why would you wait to post “when you have time?”

I think the issue is not seeing the potential payoffs from blog writing because they are long term and subtle.”

I realize that maintaining a daily regimen of posting on my blog is important to my business as a speaker, trainer and consultant. Because I place a high priority on delivering relevant content on a daily basis, I schedule the time to research and write my articles. I am successful at doing so – for the most part. I do not always have enough material planned in advance for those days when “stuff” intrudes on my life. But I am learning to make improvements there.

I picked up several good ideas last week at the conference. But if I am going to take action on these ideas, I must schedule the time to beging to implement them. As Nolan Bushnell said, I must be “the person who gets out of the shower, dries himself and does something about it who makes a difference.”

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Business Practices, Communications, Managing Tagged: daily regimen, establish priotities, productivity, schedule time

Danny April 29, 2008 Leave a Comment

10 Tips for Engaging Your Customers

“The customer only wants two things – show me you care about me personally, and tell me what you’re going to do for me now.”

– Jeffrey Gitomer

I recently discovered Chris Garrett’s Blog – “The Business of Blogging and New Media.” His recent post, “Engaging Readers,” could just as easily been titled “Engaging Customers.” And the same principles apply whether you are writing a blog or operating a retail business.

So, by adapting Chris Garrett’s article, here are 10 solid tips for engaging your customers:

Motivation – When you clearly understand what each of your customers want, they will eagerly buy what they need.
Attraction – Engage you customers on as many levels as possible: how your store looks, feels, smells. What “vibe” do you generate. How “open” is your store. Are your customers magnetically drawn to visit your store or website?
Incentive – As Jeffrey Gitomer says, your customers want you to “tell me what you are going to do for me now.”As in an “internet-minute!”
Encouragement – Ask questions that encourage your customers to talk about the thing they love the most – to talk about themselves. To talk about what they need. To talk about what they want.
Interaction – Remember – you, too, love to talk about yourself and your products. Don’t do this! Involve your customers – see point #3.
Value – How much value do your customers receive from your business? Remember, your customer defines what is valuable – to them! Ask them. What do they find to be most valuable? Least valuable? You may be surprised.
Community – People do want to be connected with others who share their interests and values. What are you doing to encourage this connection. What events or social gatherings have you scheduled for your store? What are you doing to reach out to the larger community?
Loyalty – Read Jeffrey Gitomer’s book, “Customer Satisfaction is Worthless; Customer Loyalty is Priceless.”
Connection – Do a self-assessment. Do you still love what you are doing? If not, it will be difficult to be “present” for your customers. How “visible” are you to your customers? Are you interested in your customers? or … merely interested in your customer’s business? Do you show them that you care about them personally?
Experience – View your business from your customer’s point of view. How easy is it to do business in your store? How friendly is your staff? How well do you exceed your customers’ expectations?

OK – whether it is your blog or your business, remember:

A blog without readers, isn’t.

A business without customers, isn’t.

Engage your readers. Talk with them, not at them.

Engage your customers. Show them that you care about them personally. Make it clear what you are going to do for them now!

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Business Practices, Communications, Customer Service, Sales Tagged: customer loyalty, Interaction, Jeffrey Gitomer

Danny April 17, 2008 3 Comments

Body Language 101

I did not watch the debate last night. And, based upon the news reports I read this morning, I will not search for a replay. Perhaps I should. If only to observe Sen. Clinton’s and Sen. Obama’s body language.

This photo caught my eye. And it is not a pretty picture! Notice their hands. This position is called the “Fig Leaf.” Remember the biblical story of Adam and Eve? How they used a fig leaf to cover their “private parts” after they took a bite of the forbidden apple? They look weak, defensive and vulnerable.

So do Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama in this picture. They look weak, defensive and vulnerable. They do not look “Presidential.” They do not project power, confidence or authority. They appear timid.

“Listen with your eyes!” Body language is quite telling. What message do you receive from this photograph? What message do you project with your body language? What will your audience believe – your words? Or your body language?

If you want to learn more about the importance of body language, I recommend “The Exceptional Presenter,” by Timothy J. Koegel. I particularly like his illustrations of proper and inappropriate hand positions and gestures.

So, what is the proper position for your hands when you are speaking? What change should Sens. Clinton and Obama have made before this photograph was taken?

Use the basic”hands at your side” position. It will relax you because it takes no energy to stand with your hands at your side. Practice this yourself. How does this make you feel? How does your audience react when you stand to speak with your “hands at your side?”

They feel comfortable listening to you. They “listen with their eyes.”

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Communications, Public Speaking Tagged: Barack Obama, fig leaf position, hand gestures, Hillary Clinton, listen with your eyes, posing for photographs

Danny April 15, 2008 Leave a Comment

More reasons why names matter

“Thank you (fill in the blank) for your business.”

Don’t you hate form letters? I do. But I have a small problem and I hope that you can help me solve it.

First the good news. I am proud to say that my post yesterday – “Why names matter” – is now my all-time best in terms of the number of readers who clicked on it. Thank you one and all! And that is my problem.

I was able to personally respond to the readers who sent me an email commenting on the article. We started a dialog because the first barrier was crossed – we now know each other’s names and we can start to talk to one another. In a manner that is meaningful to each other.

But how do I start to have a dialog with each of you? In a manner that is meaningful to you? Are you interested?

I suppose that you could say that we already have started. You wouldn’t be reading this post if the content didn’t provide something of value – to you. But you know more about me than I know about you.

It all starts with a name. Knowing your name. Addressing you by your name. Getting to know what makes you unique. Getting to know what we have in common. Where we disagree.

In order to start a conversation with a stranger here are two points to consider:

An excerpt from Seth Godin’s post “Name tags:”
- I love name tags.I think doing name tags properly transforms a meeting. Here’s why:
  a. people don’t really know everyone, even if they think they do.
  b. if you don’t know someone’s name, you are hesitant to talk to them.
  c. if you don’t talk to them, you never get to know them and you both lose.
  d. if you are wearing a name tag, it’s an invitation to start a conversation.
An excerpt from the www.chrisg.com article, “10 Reasons Commenting is Good for Bloggers:”
- Make friends and influence people – Blogging is partly a networking activity. People are more likely to link to you (or more) if they have heard of you. Get yourself out there, make friends.
- Clicks – People click your link to see what other interesting stuff you write about. Obvious but true.

I do believe that my blog is getting more attention because I am paying more attention – to what others are writing about and commenting about on various blogs. I have started to add my comments when I feel that I have something to contribute. I always leave my full name and email address. I never hide behind a pseudonym. I am curious – I enjoy exploring different points of view. I like to ask questions. I like dialog. How about you?

“If you don’t know someone’s name you are hesitant to talk to them.” – Seth Godin

If you are reluctant to post your comment here on my blog, that is okay! I welcome your thoughts. I invite you to send me an email – danny@thecompanyrocks.com. My name is Danny Rocks. I am interested in whatever you are interested in.

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Filed Under: Business Communications, Communications, Customer Service Tagged: commenting on blogs, linking, name tags

Danny Rocks “Training You to Excel”

The Right Words at the Right Time

Learn to speak with your handshake

Practice your responses

Why do politicians fumble Q & A sessions?

Respect is the best incentive

Simple, strategic questions

Why do busy people get more work done?

10 Tips for Engaging Your Customers

Body Language 101

More reasons why names matter

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